Admittedly, bringing myself to write this post was very difficult. The good news is that I was able to convince the Klinik to send me home two days early, so mommy and me have happily been home for a little less than a week. My final meetings with Dr. Rupp were bittersweet. While he is hopeful that I will see significant improvement eventually….he is doubtful that day will come anytime soon. I am grievously discouraged by his prognosis. He was candid with us in saying that he found my case to be amongst his most complicated in twenty-eight years. For that reason, he is very uncertain of how my condition will progress and how positively or negatively I will respond to treatment. He sent me back to the care of my doctors in the States, but assured me repeatedly, he will be my primary physician for as long as I should wish. He vowed to never abandon me, kindly offering his friendship as evidence of his commitment. In his thick German accent he said, “I want you hold me as a friend. I will hold you as a friend. Always.”
My doctors are just as unsettled as I am about my road ahead. He envisioned years of detoxification therapies in the hopes of eliminating toxic remnants of bacterials, viruses, fungi, prescription medication, and environmental poisons from my riddled organs. All with the ultimate goal of restoring them to normal function. Dr. Rupp is confident in his ability to do so, but admits full healing is both ambitious and uncertain, and either way will be physically and emotionally demanding, not to mention, lengthy a process. In the mean time, we have to do everything we can to support my body and prevent further organ damage and nerve loss.
As I was leaving his office on my last day at the Klinik, Dr. Rupp asked if I was sure I wanted to leave. He leaned back in his chair and opened the pocket on his pants, smiling, “I want to keep you right here in my pocket.”
Dr. Rupp reminded me repeatedly during my stay, the importance of trusting in him and his goodness and relying upon him for wisdom and guidance. His less than perfect English didn’t get in the way of his more than perfect note, “If you need me, remember, it’s just a small word”….help!